


Horrible Pickup lines and favorite songs

by hopelessly_me



Category: Marvel
Genre: Bucky learns to love it, Clint sings horribly, Clint tells the worst pickup lines, DD Bucky, Deaf Clint, Drunk Clint, First Time Meeting, Flirty Clint, Im sorry I swear a lot, M/M, Steve sucks at flirting, Teacher Bucky, Two Truths and A Lie, Wingman Bucky, non-superheros AU, stuntman Clint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22746508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopelessly_me/pseuds/hopelessly_me
Summary: Bucky hates being the only sober one at a Stark party. He runs into a drunk blond who sings the world's most horrible song, and forces him to dance. But none of that matters because he'll never see him again. Right?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Comments: 12
Kudos: 125





	Horrible Pickup lines and favorite songs

Bucky had no idea why he let’s Steve talk him into this shit. One moment he is sitting comfortably in their apartment, playing some video games and enjoying life. The next he has stuffed himself into pants that are  _ possibly _ a little too tight on his thighs and wearing his moto jacket, listening to people repeatedly proclaiming “Oh my god, I’m not even that drunk”. You know who Bucky wishes was drunk? Bucky. Bucky wishes he was drunk because he  _ cannot _ deal with drunk people while sober. But he promised Steve he would be the DD tonight, and he wasn’t about to fork over the money to ride in an Uber.

Ever since high school it seemed like Steve hit some growth spurt and Bucky hated every minute of it. Steve was now taller than Bucky, and he bulked up a lot easier than Bucky. Steve was that short, awkward guy who had too much confidence for a man the size of a chihuahua; anymore, he didn’t need Bucky to help fight his battles, thank the heavens, but it also meant he now enjoyed having a social life more while Bucky would rather be chilling on the couch binging on horror flicks.

However, Bucky was hoping this was finally the day where Steve would grow a pair of balls and ask Tony out on a date. Steve had a thing for Stark, even if the guy was four years younger than them and flashier than the both of them. Not that Bucky hated the guy- Stark had a good heart and was a great friend. When Bucky lost his arm in a motorcycle accident, Tony was the one who helped him sign up for some prosthetic trial, which surprisingly worked. And when Bucky and Steve both thought they were going to have to drop out of college because the cost was getting to be too much, Tony was the one who helped find grants and scholarships in order to make living more bearable.

All in all, Steve could do a hell of a lot worse than Tony. But so far, Steve wouldn’t make a move. Bucky had thought it was because he thought he was out of Tony’s league or something, but no- it was because he was shit at flirting. He thought at least some things never change with Steve- his sense of pride, moral duties, and his inability to flirt appropriately. In turn, this meant there were a  _ lot _ of Stark parties Bucky was forced to go to.

Bucky walked around the house idly, sometimes talking to some of their mutual friends as he passed them. Mostly he was watching the clock for eleven o’clock, their agreed upon time. He knew this would likely buy him a few jabs from their friends, calling him out for being an “old man”, but Bucky just wanted to go home. He wasn’t interested in these types of parties anymore, not since the accident. Call him insecure, but the scars that littered the left side of his chest and arm kept him from really fully enjoying himself. Let alone the metal arm…

He walked into the kitchen and was taken aback. He didn’t recognize this crowd as much, most of them being closer to Tony’s age, still in college. Still too young to be tainted by the world and it’s hardship. And god, were they drunk.  _ Just wait, _ he thought to himself as he watched the crowd dance and drink without a care in the world,  _ a few more years and you’ll be in my shoes. Going to bed by eleven after popping two Tylenols to end the back pain. And the heartburn  _ Maybe he was a little bitter about it, but it was the truth.

He scanned the room and his eyes stalled over one man in particular. He was too tall to be standing on the counter, dancing the way he was without a care in the world. His blond hair was standing every which way, his long legs having to bend so his head wouldn’t knock against the ceiling. Not that he seemed to mind, the way he was dancing. When he laughed, he shot up and knocked his head into the ceiling, one hand touching the ceiling as he giggled in glee. Bucky was pretty sure there was only one word for a guy like him- himbo.

The man jumped down from the counter with ease and grace, almost an alarming amount considering how plastered he looked. He went to grab something from the fridge Bucky was standing near then went absolutely rigided for a moment before a too big, too warm smile spread across his face as he slammed the door shut.

“Oh my  _ God _ , this is my song!” he declared with excitement.

Bucky  _ hated _ the song that came on. He watched as the blond sang off key along with the music, his friends laughing at his antics. Bucky caught a few times where he messed up the lyrics, not that he thought the blond cared at all, but Bucky certainly cared- it made the song  _ worse _ somehow. He looked down at his drink and went to open the fridge when a hand landed on his arm and tugged him. Off kilter, Bucky moved and looked up as the blond spun him, catching his hand to slam him back against his body. Bucky stared at the man who seemed too overjoyed at the music as he forced Bucky to participate in his dancing for what felt like two minutes when really it was five seconds of his time before the man moved on.

Bucky stumbled his way outside and pressed his back against the siding. His hand, his shoulder, still felt warm from the touch, a little buzz settling just under his skin. He took a few deep breaths and willed his heart to slow down before it beat it’s way straight out of his chest. He closed his eyes and focused for a minute before he checked his phone.  _ Ten thirty- close e-fucking-nough. _

When Bucky finally forced Steve to leave, get in the car, he still couldn’t shake the feeling of the large hands that had planted themselves on him. He forced Steve up the stairs, heaved Steve’s body into the bed, and forced him to down two pills to stave off a hangover. He left a glass of water by the bedside and closed the door.

As he took a shower, Bucky couldn’t stop thinking about the taller man, the bluest eyes he had ever seen, and that too big of a smile. He could remember the small freckles that seemed to peek out randomly across his nose, his cheeks. But none of it mattered- it’s not he was going to run into him again.

At least, Bucky was sure he was never going to see him again. But what were the chances? Apparently extremely high because  _ there he fucking is _ . The blond from three months ago was standing in Tony’s house, wearing a pair of slacks and button down shirt that hugged his figure a little too well; Bucky was fairly certain that at any time the sleeves would rip from stretching around his biceps whenever he crossed his arms. Bucky had noticed the man had muscles before, but he didn’t notice he had  _ all _ those muscles hiding under the hoodie and sweats.

The blond man was talking with Tony and a redhead that Steve had told him was Natalia. Apparently Natalia and Tony dated at some point, or so the rumor goes, and Bucky could see it. Natalia was beautiful, which tended to be Tony’s type no matter the gender, and had curves in all the right places. And it seemed by how close she was standing to the blond that she had moved on to… taller men. Bucky couldn’t help but notice that somehow they looked like a mix matched pair, no matter the laughs they shared.

“You are  _ staring _ ,” Steve accused.

“I am not,” Bucky replied, knowing Steve would continue to call him out on it.

“You are usually a better liar than that,” Steve pointed out. “Which one? Natalia or her friend?” he asked. Bucky shot him a look, hoping it would silence the matter. “So it’s the friend.”

“You know… you could always try to develop  _ your _ relationship instead of trying to develop  _ my _ lack of one,” Bucky stressed. “Tony is very much single. And oh look- he is walking this way.”

“Hey guys,” Tony greeted. “Looking good, Bucky. Steve, you are always looking top notch.”

“Hey Tony, congratulations on finishing college,” Steve said, shaking his hand before Tony pulled him into a hug. And seriously- Bucky was going to make sure of Steve for the awkward handshake. “Two PhDs now, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah, not to brag,” Tony replied.

Bucky let Steve and Tony talk because after five minutes of it, he was pretty done. Tonight was going to be another failure to launch mission for Steve, and Bucky wasn’t going to endure that. He was thankful that this party was at least much more low key than the last one. People were casually talking, casually drinking. It seemed like the other real chaos was being held outside, which made perfect sense.

Bucky made his way outside, smiling and standing with his old friends. Sam was talking about his deployment, and where he was going to be stationed next. Bruce was talking about moving across the country to work on some big science research opportunity at some big science university. And Scott was- well, he was Scott.

Bucky scanned the crowd then smiled when he heard a particular song come over the radio. His eyes landed on the blond as his face lit up and in triumph shouted “It’s my jam!” That caught the attention of Sam who also turned to watch as the blond grabbed onto the red head and they both did some choreographed dance that Bucky could only imagine they did in the comfort of their own apartment. She was rolling with it, though Bucky could tell there was underlying hints of embarrassment behind her laughs. The blond, however, gave it everything he got and Bucky could feel a smile spreading across his face just by watching.

“So… who are they?” Bucky asked.

“I dunno, man, they are younger than we are,” Sam said.

“Well, her name is Natalia,” Scott said. “And I  _ believe _ his name is Clint or something like that. I think they are roommates? At least I think that’s what I overheard Stark saying. Both twenty-one. Natalie just graduated as well. Oh hey! Same as you, Bucky. Language Arts or whatever. She speaks Russian.”

“Competition,” Sam teased lightly, elbowing Bucky.

When the song was over, the blond-  _ Clint _ \- threw his arms around Natalia, laughing and sweating. She tried to shove him away before her arms came up to hug him as well. Bucky was still leaning on them being a thing, just keeping it under the radar.

“Beer run- anyone want anything?” Bucky asked. He waved to his group and headed inside, collecting the drinks for his friends.

He felt someone brush into him and he turned to look. “Hey, sorry man,” the blond said, squeezing by him and the wall of people that didn't seem to want to move. “Stark parties, y’know?” he asked. He reached up into a cabinet, which Bucky wasn’t sure he was allowed to do, and grabbed a coffee mug. He settled it under the machine and hit a few buttons. “You drink coffee?” he asked casually, smiling down at Bucky.

“Sometimes?” Bucky replied, cursing himself for answering in a question.  _ Stupid Barnes.  _

“Mhhh, it’s like life blood,” Clint said, picking the mug up as soon as it was finished and took a sip, which Bucky thought was ill-advised. “Mhhhh. Love my coffee like I love my men. Hot and strong as fuck,” he said before he winked. Bucky stared at him, fairly certain his face was betraying every emotion in him. Clint had a wicked grin on his face, one eyebrow raised as he held out a hand. “Hi, the name is Clint, just in case you ever want to lower your standards.”

Bucky wasn’t sure how to respond. He held his hands up, holding the beer bottles. “Hi, uhm.. I’m..”

“Clint! There you are! Come here,” Tony called.

“Bye, hi uhm,” Clint said cheerfully before he walked over to Tony, coffee cup and all.

_ Oh holy shit- what did I just do? _

Bucky never told anyone about his encounter with Clint, and the horrible pickup lines he had used, even if they somehow worked. He had no idea who Clint was, and he was fine keeping it that way. He was just a casual party-goer who happened to somehow be involved in the same crowd as Bucky. It was nothing, meant  _ nothing _ , because there was no way in hell sober Clint would have liked normal Bucky.

It was now the end of summer and Steve convinced Bucky to take a vacation. Tony had invited them out to his beach house and Steve was determined to make his move. And somehow that meant that Bucky had to be there for “moral support” especially if Tony laughed in his face. However, it wasn’t like Bucky needed an excuse more than “Hey, free rooms to sleep in, we just have to get there”. He gladly accepted the terms.

They drove down to where Tony vacationed in the summers, making a small road trip of it. They got in early in the morning, which everyone else still inhabiting the house was still asleep. They ditched their bags in their rooms and quietly made their way through the house. Steve went out to the beach, wanting to go for a run. Bucky, however, stayed back and plucked a book from Tony’s bookcase and sat down. It was  _ vacation _ , and he wasn’t going to ruin it by exercising.

“Nice pants- I can see me in ‘em.”

Bucky felt his heart jolt, felt his stomach tighten. He slowly turned around and watched as Clint made his way to the coffee maker. He was wearing a pair of shorts, slung dangerously low on his hips as he prepared a pot.

“Excuse me?” Bucky asked.

“I said nice pants, I can see me in ‘em,” Clint replied as calmly as he had said it the first time. 

Bucky’s mind raced- the guy had to mean he liked the color, liked the style, something,  _ anything _ other than what was implied. He glanced down but no, they were just normal jeans.  _ What in the fuck? _ He watched as Clint stretched, arching his back as he waited for the coffee. There were scars, some barely visible in the lighting, across his back, along his hips.

“So… you aren’t a coffee drinker, right?” Clint asked.

“What? Oh, uhm, no,” Bucky replied.

“Right, good. More coffee for me before the assholes wake up,” Clint said, opening the fridge. “Hungry?”

“No… no thank you.”

“Alright, suit yourself, bro,” Clint replied, pulling out the milk and making himself a bowl of cereal. “I make a mean bowl of Captain Crunch,” he said, his teeth grazing over his bottom lip as he waggled his eyebrows.

As soon as the coffee was done, Bucky didn’t hear a single word out of the man. It was all slurps and clanking of a spoon against the bowl. He was humming that obnoxious song, the song Bucky used to hate but now it was growing on him.

“Why do you like that song so much?” Bucky asked finally.

“Hm?” Clint looked up and Bucky held his breath. “Oh. Heh. Just reminds me of the good times. I heard it when I got my first gig, when Nat and I rented our first apartment- it’s kind of my anthem that lets me know good things are comin’ I guess.”

Bucky smiled at the explanation. “I, uh- saw you dancing with her at the Stark graduation party.”

Clint laughed a little too loudly, playing with his ears. “Oh man, she was so mad at me. I mean, don’t get me wrong here- Nat hates attention but she loves an excuse to act goofy. So while she was mad because I made everyone watch our little song and dance session, she also was laughing through it. She’s the best.”

“You both dating?” Bucky asked. Clint’s eyebrows shot up and he got up from his seat, going to clear his dishes. “Sorry. I just thought- with how close you both appear-”

“Oh, yeah, no, trust me- everyone thinks it,” Clint answered. “Nope, no, not dating her. Not dating anyone at the moment,” he said slowly. “I mean, not from a lack of trying. I am just terrible at shooting my shot I guess.”

“...shooting your shot?” Bucky asked.

Clint stared at him like he grew a second head. “You know… shoot your shot. You kinda just… try to… how old are you?” Bucky’s cheeks went read. “I’m sorry, I mean, I figured you were, like, my age?”

“I’m older than twenty-one,” Bucky replied dryly.

“No, dude, me too,” Clint said, rounding the counter and walking over to the couch. He vaulted it and plopped down next to Bucky. “I just look young I guess. I’m twenty-seven.”

“You… what?” Bucky asked, confused all over again.

“Yeah, no, I’m, like, the oldest guy here practically,” Clint bragged. “You guys are  _ babies _ . I just stay hip on the terms. I mean, I hang out with Stark so I kinda have to?”

“You are… twenty-seven… and you hang out with Stark?” Bucky asked slowly.

“Mhh-hmm. You know that game two truths and a lie?” Clint asked out of no where. Bucky frozen then nodded. “So… here ya go. Two truths and a lie, Barton style. One- I run an ASL vlog. Two- I’m a stuntman. And three- I am a male stripper.” Clint winked as he got up, his smile growing at Bucky’s jaw dropping. “Guess which one I’m not. Get back to me. There might be a prize involved.” Clint ran his fingers over Bucky’s shoulders as he passed, heading outside.

Bucky didn’t move for what felt like an eternity.  _ This has seriously got to be a joke _ he thought. He sat the book down and got up, heading to the bedroom. He needed to change, get ready for a hot summer day that he knew would involve swimming to some extent, and Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he had done the activity. Swimming meant swim shorts and a lack of a top, and a lack of a top meant his arm, his scars, were on display for everyone to see. It was a lot of mental preparation to do, and he had to do it before Steve got back from his run.

It was well into the day before Steve sought out Bucky, who positioned himself carefully on a lounger to soak in the sun. Steve was burnt to all hell, but he had the widest, dorkiest smile on his face that both made Bucky feel warm inside and deeply troubled.

“So… I met the blond officially,” Steve said, dropping into a chair next to Bucky.

“You look like a lobster,” Bucky commented.

“His name is Clint,” Steve said. “And seriously, Bucky, he’s really cool.”

“Yeah, I talked to him earlier today- he seems like a chill guy,” Bucky answered, thanking the gods that he had sunglasses on so Steve couldn’t actually see shit.

“I was jogging on the beach and was watching him do yoga. Yoga, Bucky. The guy is insanely flexible,” Steve described. “He saw me running up and mentioned how he thought I looked familiar from all the Stark parties. I asked him how the hell he could do all those poses and he just grinned sheepishly and said he had a lot of training in a lot of obscure things. He does archery, you know the-”

“I know what archery is,” Bucky muttered.

“Right. Yeah. Anyway,” Steve said through sheer excitement. “Anyway, he does archery in his freetime, insanely flexible and- and he is a stuntman.” Bucky rose an eyebrow. “I  _ know _ . I asked him if I would know him from any movies and he pulled out his phone and showed me videos. I didn’t believe it but Buck, the guy is like… the most interesting guy on earth.”

_ So, he is telling the truth about the stuntman part. _ “Well, he certainly sounds interesting,” Bucky agreed. “So, you are having a good day so far,” he hinted. “Going to take that good mood and do the deed?”

“Yeah yeah, tonight,” Steve promised. “Going to go in the ocean at some point?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “I have to talk to someone first though,” he added, getting to his feet. “Have fun, go crazy,” he said, walking backwards until he got into the house.

Unlike most Stark parties, this was was tame. It was about fifteen of Tony’s closest friends, ranging in ages, and everyone seemed pretty mellow so far. Bucky noticed the redhead was there, sipping on tea as she read a book. He waved to Bruce as he walked around the house, one person strongly on his mind.

“Tony, hey,” Bucky greeted when he found him.

Tony looked over and held a finger up, spitting out his toothpaste before rinsing his mouth. “Hey- you guys are here. How was the car ride?” he asked.

“Long,” Bucky admitted. “Hey, thanks again for inviting us. This is the exact kind of vacation we need. And this house is… amazing.”

Tony shrugged as he wiped off his mouth. “Yeah, it’s alright. Better when I have it filled with people I know and like. Better than family vacations.” He turned around and leaned on the bathroom counter. “So… whats up?” he asked, crossing his arms.

Bucky hated this part. If he said anything and it got back to Steve, he would never hear the end of it. It had been awhile since Bucky showed interest in someone but the blond had caught it almost the moment he had laid eyes on him, and it was only growing with each run in.

“You have a friend here- Clint,” Bucky hinted.

Tony smirked. “I was wondering how long it would take.”

“Excuse me?” Bucky asked, taken aback.

“Clint mentioned something the last party you were both at,” Tony replied nonchalantly. “He didn’t know who you were, of course, because apparently the cat caught your tongue. The only thing he had to go by was ‘the insanely hot guy with the metal arm’.” Bucky was thrown off again, and he shifted his weight. “Look, if you want him to back off, all you gotta do is tell him. Clint’s a good guy.”

“How exactly do you know him?” Bucky asked. “He’s, uh, twenty-seven.”

“You know that movie I made a brief cameo in?” Tony asked. “He was a stunt double in it. I thought it was the coolest career ever, and we got to talking. Now he helped me workout, kind of like a personal trainer when he isn’t out shooting scenes. And he has been wildly supportive of all my odd endeavours, sits around and listens to me go on and on about all my projects. He is way smarter than he let’s on.”

Bucky was silent for a minute. “I’ve got… an insanely weird question,” he said. “Was he ever… a, uhm… stripper?” He could feel his face heating up as the words came out, but it wasn’t until Tony burst into tears from laughter that he felt truly embarrassed.

“Let me guess- two truths and a lie?” Tony asked. “He always does that game, I fucking love it. What were the choices?” he asked, fully amused.

“Stuntman, ASL vlog, stripper,” Bucky admitted.

“Oh man,” Tony said, wiping his eyes. “He runs an ASL vlog. He’s partially deaf, and he wanted to help others learn ASL as a means to communicate with people who are typically overlooked. It’s pretty popular too, which, I mean, have you seen Clint? Of course it is, if nothing else because eye candy,” Tony explained. “I’ll send you the link.”

Tony moved closer and put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Listen, pal. Clint is probably using horrible pickup lines and everything to drop a hint. As I said, if you aren’t interested, just tell him and he’ll back off on the flirting. But, since I think you  _ are _ interested- you really could do a  _ lot _ worse than Barton. In fact, I think he’d help bring you out of your shell a little bit.”

“One request,” Bucky said. Tony rose an eyebrow. “Tell Steve nothing, alright? He will be on my dick about it all vacation.”

“Mums the word,” Tony promised with a wink. “You hungry? I’m hungry. Let’s go eat and then go to the beach, alright? And lose the shirt- no one here is going to judge you on the scars.”

The rest of the day seemed manageable. Bucky took Tony’s advice and ditched the shirt, letting loose a little more than normal. Steve seemed grateful about it, his smile growing. Bucky went in the ocean, did cartwheels on the beach like an idiot, and went swimming in the private pool. He ate more food than typical, slept off a food coma, and relaxed.

All the while, he kept taking sneak peeks at Clint. A few of Tony’s friends rented surfboards and were attempting to surf on the baby waves. Even from the shore, Bucky was fairly sure he could see the bright smile on Clint’s face, hear him laughing with every attempt, every failure, especially at his own mishaps. When the group got back to shore he showed off his gymnastics, his flexibility, all because one girl in the group asked if he would. Back by the pool, the music blaring, he was dancing around, having a good time.

“Tony,” Bucky said slowly, coming up to him. “Can I play around with the playlist a little?”

“Yeah, sure,” Tony said, handing over his phone. “Add whatever. Go crazy.”

Bucky didn’t need to add much. He scanned the list before he added one song then sat down and waited. Clint was in the middle of a game of chicken with some friends when the song came on. His whole face lit up and he dropped Natalia off from his back. Just as wildly as before, Clint declared “My song!” as loudly as he could, wading around the pool like a bloody idiot as he sang along, and every time he missed a lyric, Bucky felt something warm in his chest.

It was towards the end of the song that Clint waded down closer to Bucky, doing his best serenading impression. Bucky could only laugh and lean back, enjoy the show as Clint put his all into it. When the song was done he had the cheesiest grin on his face and he pointed to Bucky before blowing him a kiss. Before he could get any words out, Natalia dunked him under. When he came up sputtering he smacked water up at her and the moment between Bucky and Clint was lost in a war inside the pool.

It was several minutes before Clint made his way out, crying uncle as he did and playfully limping as he grabbed his back, asking for mercy. He stumbled his way over to Bucky and ran his teeth over his bottom lip, a playful gleam in his eyes.

“You are using my song against me now,” Clint accused lightly.

“I plead the fifth,” Bucky answered, sitting up more, his legs on either side of his lounger. “I figured it out, by the way,” he said.

“Oh?” Clint asked. “The two truths and a lie? Which one is the lie?”

“Male stripper,” Bucky said with confidence, though the longer Clint stood silently, the more that seemed to waver. “So I win a prize, right?” he asked.

“Mhhh- I guess you do,” Clint agreed. He leaned forward, his hands bracing the sides of the lounger before his lips brushed against Bucky’s.

“Fucking finally!” Natalia called from the pool.

Bucky almost whined when Clint pulled back, his head snapping to the side as he flipped her off. A few of the guys were laughing and Steve- Steve looked like he was overflowing with excitement. When Clint looked back he narrowed his eyes for a moment before he tilted his head up a little, a smirk returning to his face.

“Is… this the Hogwarts Express because I have a feeling you and I are heading somewhere magical,” he said before he pulled his bottom lip in.

Bucky stared at him. “Where in the world do you learn those? How do you just whip them out like that?” he asked.

“I’ve got plenty more, if they are working for you,” Clint hinted. He pulled Bucky back to him, his thumb grazing his jaw lightly. “My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?”

“Oh… my god, shut up,” Bucky encouraged before he kissed him again.

**Author's Note:**

> I completely forgot about this fic! I started it way back in November, finished it early January, and accidentally stuffed it in my completed folder without posting it. So when I was reading some of the older fics, I saw it and face palmed. I partially got the idea while listening to "Riptide" by Vance Joy, and then combined it with Clint using horrible pickup lines. (That and from time to time I like to look up pickup lines because they make me laugh my ass off. I don't know why- it's a thing and I'm not even ashamed). Anyway- I rambled enough. I hope you enjoyed! =)


End file.
